Our Trip to Chicago, Illinois

Fatty Catty reading the Sky Mall catalog somewhere over Texas

Mike and I took our first vacation in a long time. After getting the house, not only were most of our weekends spent dodging day laborers in the Home Depot parking lot, working to pay for stuff at Home Depot, or using stuff from Home Depot, we had a lot of shit to do. 

When we found out we had a couple weddings to attend in the midwest, it was the obvious choice to take a few days inbetween ceremonies to explore Chicago and begin our culinary quest for local flavor in hopes of devouring as much as is humanly possible. In all honesty, I don't really know Chicago all too well. Most of my life, I've only know Chicago through Ferris Bueller, Steve Urkel and Balki Bartokomous. If there was a way to funnel in all the amazing meat products the Windy City had to offer, we would have, but we had to settle for this trip.

Our 1st stop, Gino's East

After checking in to the hotel, our itinerary was as clear as the napkins we used to wipe our mouths with afterwards- we wanted Chicago style deep dish pizza. There are many arguments as to which pizza place has the "best" pizza, but my most trustworthy junk food connoisseurs all pointed me towards Gino's East, and I was not disappointed. Plus, we spotted Vince Vaughn there and he looks like a man that enjoys good pizza regularly.

My pizza paragon from Gino's East complete with a full layer of patty sausage

Since we had just devoured about 8lbs of pizza each, Mike and I decided to walk it off and parade our new engagement around the city with Fatty Catty.

Fatty Catty at the Bean

Fatty Catty at Hancock Observatory

 Fatty Catty at the Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago

After miles of walking and hauling the Cat, we built up our appetite for refreshment, and OK, more food. (Don't judge. Alright, fine go ahead, you disapproving food hippy) We decided to go to a brewpub in a different neighborhood, Goose Island. There, we found a handful of locals who just got off work, decompressing and violently cheering on the Bears game. Obviously, we were at the right place at the right time.

Gooseneck taps at Goose Island

We ordered plates of so many types of pork. Lots of pork happens in Chicago. More importantly, we cheered together with the bar regulars to cheer on the home team which felt really nice. It didn't matter that I was a 49ers fan really, but they gave me a high-five just for cheering and being there. They were friendly and welcoming and most bar patrons in LA are not.

The next day, we did more walking around the city and made sure that we made reservations at the one restaurant that all of our trustworthy foodies/locals alike recommended: Publican.

Family style dining and pig portraits at Publican

Surround by hip people of all ages, we dined on rare secret beers (we were served beer that had a secret brewer) and such amazingly comforting foods like pork rinds, green beans with tuna, mussels, and a pork chop that made you tired of saying "wow, that's good!". And afterwards, we ate fig cake crusted with caramel corn and topped with goats milk ice cream and edible flowers. No big deal. (If you thought I thought that wasn't a big deal- you are being stupid.)

Mike and I like to eat a balanced diet. By that, I mean that we eat fancy then we have to balance it off with an assortment of junk food. The next day, we enjoyed dunkin donuts with coffee and 2 lunches that could be described as gross, greasy, and fatty by people who hate life.

Best Chicago dog

A Chicago dog can be distinguished from hot dogs in other cities by its combination of 3 qualities: beef hotdog with a "snap" (eat one in front of someone, if you bite it and they hear it, it's the snap), a poppyseed bun, and neon green relish. For the most part it looks like the hot dog had slid down a slip-n-slide of condiments or the jump castle in my fantasy fixins theme BBQ. Mr. Beef and his dogs may have already done that because the Chicago dogs are top notch.

2nd lunch at Al's Italian Beef, a couple blocks from Mr. Beef

This place was featured on Man vs. Food. Mike was so intrigued by this place because you're told you have to eat at the counter standing a certain way so that the dripping cheezy beef doesn't fall on you or your shoes. But you, know I liked sitting and eating it while sitting seemed just fine. The stains were worth it despite all the judgmental glares.

So that sums up our trip to Chicago. Later, we packed our bags and stood in line with all the Amish people and hopped on a train to Kalamazoo. (Yes, really)

Take that, witch! Your curse didn't work cuz I'm gettin' married!

Looking forward to best production of my life to date- my wedding!

Vince Gilligan on Conan

I absolutely love the show Breaking Bad. Here is an interview with its creator/showrunner, Vince Gilligan.

It's nice to know that some of the greatest ideas can come from a joke about misery among friends. And that he faints a lot just like me!

Fatty Catty the Artist

"R U Gunna Eat That?" by Fatty Catty 72 x 48 acrylic on canvas

Theme Parks at 30

The Lego store @ Legoland. 41 different colors. Many different shapes.

 

 Mike's daughter has a list of "Things to Do" for this summer. One of those things was to "Go to Legoland." We knew that we had to do it. She's been good and has tolerated enough 30something conversations about designer furniture and craft beer, that we only felt that it was fair to do actual "kid stuff."

I was excited. I enjoy rollercoasters and have many many fond memories playing with Legos. Mike and I had never been and we were more than happy to get the 12 year old clapping and jumping with excitement.

  Legoland Admission Fees

Now that I'm the one taking the 12 year old instead of vice versa, there are a few things that I don't find as amusing. First one being- holy shit, I have to pay and it's NOT cheap.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a MORAY (eel)

 We first stop at the SeaLife aquarium to see some amazing creatures. And watch babies abuse starfish with their little sausage hands. This was promising and I was looking forward to the park now.

So we finally get in and it's all very familiar. Lockers. People taking souvenir pictures. Gift shops. Snack stands. Baby vomit. Crying. Gigantic bathrooms with adequate stroller rooms. Granted instead of a larger than life mouse, we are here to see blocks. But you know what? I'm here for fun and I'm going to try to enjoy is as I did when I was a kid! I'm going to party in this block land like there's no tomorrow! I'm going to show Legoland who's boss!

The first thing we do is ride a rollercoaster that was probably designed for toddlers. While the line was about 45-60 mins, the ride was no longer than 90 seconds. AND it didn't even go upside down! I think my back hurts! Maybe the next one will ... not?

Eat it quick before it turns into NORMAL ice cream!

So I continue on my search for childhood mirth and find Dippin Dots! I loved Dippin Dots as a kid and found that I still do! Except now I realize that it's just normal ice cream that I just paid for and am forced to consume it as fast as possible before it melts into the ordinary. The brain freeze was worth it, but the churning in my stomach from the sugarshock most certainly was not. Onward to fun!

Mike with a buffalo butt made out of Legos

The kid begs us to go on the Pirate ride which pretty much promises to get us soaked. Granted that even though I'm wearing my favorite jeans (fr Current Elliott- wooo!) I decide to sacrifice them for the sake of "fun." I decide to pass on the $10 plastic bag/poncho. It won't be needed because when it's hot, it's "fun" to get soaked and wear wet jeans! It's fun to have your clothing cling to you like a cold leech. So we finally get on board the large raft that is going to bring an end to dryness for the next few hours. As the raft takes its speedy decent into the water and a giant wave falls on top of me, it happens- a tsunami of expletives and malediction just come out of my mouth. As if I had just stepped in a wasp nest and all the angry wasps were cursing too! It was uncontrollable and the parents and children nearby pretend not to hear it. I walk out as fast as I can even though I am now 5 lbs heavier due to the water my clothing has now absorbed.

Lego replica of Lego factory

We continue walking to finally find things I truly enjoyed: Miniland USA and the Star Wars exhibit which were miniature models made entirely out of Legos.

 

Lego San Francisco

 Lego Star Wars Cantina

Lego MGM Grand, Las Vegas? Because that's what kids like to see.

I'm pretty sure I had taken photos of each structure and they were all very impressive. No details missed from tourists, prostitutes (oh, I'm sure they're in there) to aligator hunters in the pond.

The park closes at 8p, but the "BIG" gift shop conveniently stays open til 10p

We ride a few more rollercoasters that were lukewarm at best. I made Mike and the kid run across the park to make sure we got on as many rides as possible. It was a painful revelation that I had spent at least 6 hours of my day in a queue to ride these bunny hill rides not being amused, but I remembered that this wasn't about 30 year old me anymore- it was for the kids. The kids who are still scared of big rides and still want to buy everything in the gift shop, and for those of us to pay for it.

Not Without My Cellphone!

Happy Birthday, Cher, from me and the LAPD

One of my best good buddies, Cher, just recently partied pretty hard and had a run-in with the police. In all good fun, Cher came out unscathed and more importantly, with her phone intact.

Cellphones are somewhat crucial to my life. It's the best way to reach me. I get email on it. I can check my oodles of social media on it. Plus, I'm a producer, so I'm effing permanently connected to the cancer box siamese-twin-freak-of-nature style. (oops, I mean conjoined)

But alas, when things get hectic in my life, I get a little scatterbrained. And one day, I did the unthinkable and lost my phone. 

Thanks to Apple's  Find My Friends app, it was only a matter of a couple iPad taps to see that my phone had gotten locked up in my office. My office that had just been fumigated for unusually large cockroaches and other insect menace. I considered borrowing a gas mask, but figured I'll just wait the weekend to get my phone back. Brave the world of the phoneless.

After emailing the people who are trying so urgently to reach me to let them know I lost my phone, I took a breathe and dove into phone freedom. After overcoming some work-related anxieties, it was nice. I wasn't constantly tied to my social media in public, relied on my memory to get around town without GPS, I wasn't worried a work call could come in, and most importantly I was able to just enjoy the company of those around me. Granted, I did really miss my camera phone when I spotted two skunks fighting in the street, but seeing will not be believing in this instance. All in all, it was the most relaxed I had been since I started working.

And then finally come Monday, I expect to see a tsunami of missed calls and a text messages. Perhaps a few Instagram alerts, but no- I missed 1 call from my mom, no voicemail and my wakey wakey alarm went off. Son of a bitch.

Cellphones are so empowering by giving us mobility, but I've learned that every now and then it's nice to turn off the phone to focus on the world that you can touch, feel and smell.

Ooh we fancy now! We have astro turf! - A warm invitation

 Hacky sack Sunday

Hello Family,

After a year and a half of deliberating what type of wood, what color paint, what lighting and what furniture to place in our home, it is finally ready for your approval.

Mike and I have worked not only on our theme of blending the indoors and outdoors, but balancing his style (sterile) and my style (fun, duh!). Yes, that's a chair, Grandma, you can sit in it. Even if it resembles a 3-legged alien, I assure you it's a stool designed with your bum in mind. And that rock? Well that's a rock and that's our coffee table. Both look like meteorites, so an easy mistake. You can sit on all of them! That's the fun part.

We've made sure that every detail in the house was carefully selected from the finest of affordable hardware stores to make sure that this home was indeed ours, and now yours as well. We scrutinized 3 different types of astroturf to assure you that your tootsies would have every comfort of actual grass. As I curate the home with only the most personal of art - my chrome painted garden gnome aka Chrome Gnome, to the gassy penguins and Mike's father's drawing of Mike getting hit in the groin by a pogo stick, we clearly have quite a budding collection of tasteful ambiguity.

Our tiny home is tucked behind much larger homes that belong to people who are far far too busy to mind us peering into their homes with binoculars or playing our favorite game "What animal am I?" or general pajama wearing outside (Remember: indoor outdoor theme)

All in all, we welcome you to our home. We will always have beer, egg whites, and peanut butter readily available for you.

Love,
Me

Bummer - I got a job.

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths

30

My bestfriend, Grace, on her wedding day in San Francisco. 

So from the looks of the last post, it's been a 5 month break. I could say that whole "oh my gosh, I was sooo busy doing things" but it would be untrue-- I've had 5 months of writers block. While staring at a blinking cursor I managed to also find every engineering flaw in my coffee machine, took up making friendship bracelets, and taken handfuls of photos on Instagram, because it's not only what's relevant among my fellow Generation Y's, but also just a few button-clicks (oh wait, not button, my phone doesn't have buttons-- who am I some teen star from a 90's primetime series?) you too can feel like an artist. See- I'm still "creative".

So let's catch up, compadre!

In the last 5 months, I've turned 30. It's felt way better than 21 and definitely way better than 25, but closer to turning 27. I've implemented a handful of rules to help me feel more like a 30 year old adult like set up a good long term financial plan and not to purchase underwear from any stores that carry the size 00.  Ultimately, turning 30 has really made me think about the future.

So my god, how do we deal with all these responsibilities. After all, by this time any time I mess up, it's MY responsibility. I accept that. And it sucks. I've liked to think I can relieve my writers block and responsibility with some unfiltered irresponsibility. I went ahead and bought shoes- a bunch of them. All of which I returned because they were repulsive (yeah you, marc jacob sneaker heels, but not you Jenni Kayne d'orsays, not you)

Ooh and my best friend got married! While she initially dreamed of going to a courthouse and eating at iHop afterwards, she made for a beautiful bride... who chained smoked and wore a hoodie over her gown.   We ate great food, truffles my cousin finely crafted, drank Korean style (which is pretty much equates to excessive for me) and a hangover dim sum breakfast. Thank god that's over with. My acid reflux really took a number when not only she showed me her engagement ring, but also my 2 other friends who got engaged a week later. For the record, it wasn't my own thoughts on marriage, but all the things that would have to be done as well as the fact that I'm just getting older. Sorry, Bloomingdales, for puking on your floor but I was only reacting to those rocks on my iPhone. Better yet, why not write a complaint to the people who created picture sharing on my phone. Oh 30.

All in all, the best part of being 30 is that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. I can like Cabin in the Woods, don't have to have ombré hair, eat really great food or really great fatty foods. But I do feel guilt when it comes to spending-- I gotta spend on causes I believe in and my loves ones and nothing on impulse. Being part of something bigger than my closet Because that's what adults do.