Vince Gilligan on Conan

I absolutely love the show Breaking Bad. Here is an interview with its creator/showrunner, Vince Gilligan.

It's nice to know that some of the greatest ideas can come from a joke about misery among friends. And that he faints a lot just like me!

Fatty Catty the Artist

"R U Gunna Eat That?" by Fatty Catty 72 x 48 acrylic on canvas

Theme Parks at 30

The Lego store @ Legoland. 41 different colors. Many different shapes.

 

 Mike's daughter has a list of "Things to Do" for this summer. One of those things was to "Go to Legoland." We knew that we had to do it. She's been good and has tolerated enough 30something conversations about designer furniture and craft beer, that we only felt that it was fair to do actual "kid stuff."

I was excited. I enjoy rollercoasters and have many many fond memories playing with Legos. Mike and I had never been and we were more than happy to get the 12 year old clapping and jumping with excitement.

  Legoland Admission Fees

Now that I'm the one taking the 12 year old instead of vice versa, there are a few things that I don't find as amusing. First one being- holy shit, I have to pay and it's NOT cheap.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a MORAY (eel)

 We first stop at the SeaLife aquarium to see some amazing creatures. And watch babies abuse starfish with their little sausage hands. This was promising and I was looking forward to the park now.

So we finally get in and it's all very familiar. Lockers. People taking souvenir pictures. Gift shops. Snack stands. Baby vomit. Crying. Gigantic bathrooms with adequate stroller rooms. Granted instead of a larger than life mouse, we are here to see blocks. But you know what? I'm here for fun and I'm going to try to enjoy is as I did when I was a kid! I'm going to party in this block land like there's no tomorrow! I'm going to show Legoland who's boss!

The first thing we do is ride a rollercoaster that was probably designed for toddlers. While the line was about 45-60 mins, the ride was no longer than 90 seconds. AND it didn't even go upside down! I think my back hurts! Maybe the next one will ... not?

Eat it quick before it turns into NORMAL ice cream!

So I continue on my search for childhood mirth and find Dippin Dots! I loved Dippin Dots as a kid and found that I still do! Except now I realize that it's just normal ice cream that I just paid for and am forced to consume it as fast as possible before it melts into the ordinary. The brain freeze was worth it, but the churning in my stomach from the sugarshock most certainly was not. Onward to fun!

Mike with a buffalo butt made out of Legos

The kid begs us to go on the Pirate ride which pretty much promises to get us soaked. Granted that even though I'm wearing my favorite jeans (fr Current Elliott- wooo!) I decide to sacrifice them for the sake of "fun." I decide to pass on the $10 plastic bag/poncho. It won't be needed because when it's hot, it's "fun" to get soaked and wear wet jeans! It's fun to have your clothing cling to you like a cold leech. So we finally get on board the large raft that is going to bring an end to dryness for the next few hours. As the raft takes its speedy decent into the water and a giant wave falls on top of me, it happens- a tsunami of expletives and malediction just come out of my mouth. As if I had just stepped in a wasp nest and all the angry wasps were cursing too! It was uncontrollable and the parents and children nearby pretend not to hear it. I walk out as fast as I can even though I am now 5 lbs heavier due to the water my clothing has now absorbed.

Lego replica of Lego factory

We continue walking to finally find things I truly enjoyed: Miniland USA and the Star Wars exhibit which were miniature models made entirely out of Legos.

 

Lego San Francisco

 Lego Star Wars Cantina

Lego MGM Grand, Las Vegas? Because that's what kids like to see.

I'm pretty sure I had taken photos of each structure and they were all very impressive. No details missed from tourists, prostitutes (oh, I'm sure they're in there) to aligator hunters in the pond.

The park closes at 8p, but the "BIG" gift shop conveniently stays open til 10p

We ride a few more rollercoasters that were lukewarm at best. I made Mike and the kid run across the park to make sure we got on as many rides as possible. It was a painful revelation that I had spent at least 6 hours of my day in a queue to ride these bunny hill rides not being amused, but I remembered that this wasn't about 30 year old me anymore- it was for the kids. The kids who are still scared of big rides and still want to buy everything in the gift shop, and for those of us to pay for it.