Hello, I write to you from home in sunny Los Angeles.
Vacation has become me. I am wearing stretch cottons and shearling so that I can sleep at any given moment. This is how I relax. I'm not one of those people who relax with schedules and vacuuming. That is horseshit because those people are never "relaxed," they're "less agitated." When I relax, I do things on a whim. I shop when I want to shop. I eat cheeseballs for breakfast when I want. I drink coffee with extra creamer. My fiance is a lucky man.
People like to make resolutions around this time and for the most part, they're never really upheld for the next 50 weeks. Personally, I enjoy the lunar new year more, but I digress. But this year, I'm going to go ahead and give up guilt. When I was discussing my wedding plans with my Tito, I admitted to making certain plans because I felt "bad." My very wise and academia-styled Tito pointed out that it was my Catholic guilt and that I shouldn't feel bad. It's MY wedding.
This got me thinking. I remembered all of my "doomsday" theories. (Admit you had em too! You weren't sure we were going to live past 12/21/13!) I truly thought that things might be going my way because the world was going to end. That this could be the ONLY explanation as to why things were working out for me. On 12/22/13, this was proven to be untrue. I strongly believe in balance, but I realized I was applying this to my life incorrectly. Slightly. I won't admit that much wrongdoing.
My new 2013 theory on happiness is that we are entitled to it. Surely, it won't always be as obvious at times, but if we begin to see our dreams manifest, then so be it and they shouldn't come at a cost. I still believe in consequence or overindulgence, but I don't believe in feeling guilty about seeing the results I want to see and simple doing what makes me happy. Cheeseballs. Stretch pants. Writing. Sharing.
In the grand scheme of things, I don't suggest that you should act out on impulses or be selfish, nor do I believe that anyone deserves to be mistreated, but I do suggest to try to re-define or expand your honest definition of happiness. You'll know it when you know because it will be the simplest and most natural conclusion. Don't overthink it. Don't fight your instincts. Mirth is natural.
