Things of Recent Interest

1. succulents
2. 17th Century British Slang (i.e. farting-crackers or bumfodder or arsworm)
3. Valentino shoes
4. iPhone 5 rumors
5. my Filipino jewelry collection and new Pope John Paul II charm from the Vatican
6. animatronic dinosaurs for purchase and patio furniture. tie.
7. pre-fab sheds
8. the Trails cafe
9. 90's rap music because it makes me laugh
10. 1/2 marathons
11. chicken wings

Recent Obsessions

1. Bolo ties like this

2. Unusual deaths

3. Genesis' Invisible Touch



4. Stephen Hawking

5. Pepsi Dry (only available in Japan)

6. Cooper, Seattle's Cat Photographer that's actually a CAT. 

7. NBA Finals, but only for scientific analysis. One observation is that the hoops is clearly too low. A second, is that white professional basketball players resemble ogres, but this requires further investigation.

8. Tyler Hamilton v Lance Armstrong regarding doping allegations. Cycling community has been in an uproar. I would like to compare performance enhancing drugs to plastic surgery. We enjoy seeing people use it. Plus at a professional level, it's all about money and really should be up to them. Also another sidenote:  To loosely quote Ethan S, "The biggest slap in the face to US Postal in Tyler Hamilton's 60mins interview was that his doping products arrived "FedEx or DHL..."


9. Palestine and Harold Camping and this man's speech. Tie.


10. Chinatown, the movie. 

Princes and Bad Guys

So Bin Laden got X's for eyes, Kate Middleton became a Duchess, Chrysler reported its first profits since filing bankruptcy. The American outlook seems hopeful and this is the most foreign and awkward news to me. And here I was thinking Obama was going to announce an uncontrollable asteroid was headed straight for us and that we were all going to die. (Were you scared? I was scared.)

Friday's Morning Thoughts

People who don't drink coffee scare me.

That Diet Coke from last night did me wrong. So much for living on the edge.

If Charlie Sheen were such a winner, he would've owned a rocketship already. Hey winners, will you all take a step forward? Hi, Paul Allen! Not so fast, Sheen!

Kate Middleton's dress is amazing! Go Team McQueen! Too bad Wills looks a lot like Frankenstein now.

OK it's Friday and I'm back to work. Time for some throat ripping.

You know you're working at a great office when

One of your concerned co-workers brings the lack of decorative Jean Claude Van Damme photos to your attention.

Mr. Cage

Recently, I was asked what my favorite Nicholas Cage movie was. I answered "Adaptation" but really, I meant "Honeymoon in Vegas"

What I do on my day off- Masked Mexican THUMB wrestlers

Don Rightodor v El Leftito

Brain is Barfing

Since my sleeping is now programmed to Hawaiian time zone, I'm taking the time to drain the brain.

Highly enjoyed the fact that Cher had won her kareoke round at the Songstar Kareoke competition hosted at Max's of Manila in Glendale, CA. Did that old man really just sing "My Humps"? Gross.

What is it with everyone trying to predict the new black? Black is black. Idiots.

Proenza Schouler PS1 Proenza Schouler PS1 Proenza Schouler PS1

In response to Alberto Contador's recent performance drug test results, I will confess that I have also tested positive. For jellybeans. However, my milk tea numbers are severely low. I might have to see a professional about this. 

In other sports related news, my parents are run/walk fools now. My dad has evolved into a runner this year completing 7 1/2 marathons this year with 2 more to go. And my mom is speedwalking right behind him. Looking forward to my first 1/2 marathon here in LA with the folks. Hopefully there will be a hotdog stand at the end of the race to motivate me to keep moving. OK, red vines would probably work too. And pie.

Pretzels are good. But when they're bigger than your face, they're gooder. Thank you, Oktoberfest!

Terrible street art is happening. On every electrical box in LA.

Bolognese

What's for dinner?

Old School New School What School? -- We Just Like to Make Fun of You

"Octo-Anne" by Mike ... for my 27th birthday invitation. This "photo" is now framed in my mother's office.

This funemployed morning, I was playing some songs from my beloved 100 Pop Hits of the 90s on my piano. I was so passionately involved in the Easy Piano versions, that I began to pound more dramatically and sing loudly. Enough for my jury duty summons to vibrate and fall onto the floor next to me. Buzzkill.

I thought, "gosh, what could I possibly do at jury duty so that I wouldn't completely lose my mind? No bicycle. No 100 Pop Hits. Oh, but I might just have my iphone." Hours of games and Facebook. I'm addicted and I'm not afraid to judge. (probably why I qualified to be a juror) After all, aren't we putting our best (if not digitally improved) face forward on the world wide web? Oh wait ...

In recent BBQ history, my wonderful friends have shared news, jokes, and more importantly, innovative new ways to embarrass each other using internet networking. And sure why not? We all make it so easy! Our youthful narcissism is a mobile target! Thanks to Twitter and Facebook and FourSquare on mobile devices, I can often find the location and/or kryptonite of the most extraverted of internet junkies with a matter of clicks. But then digi-savvy buddies and I came to realize how much we hate having our photos published without our permission, but hey that's part of the deal.

I most certainly cringe when I see photos like the one posted up or old photos from high school are made accessible to my current boss or family members. And ooh nothing makes me want to punch sheets of glass more than a dose of internet humiliation. Unfortunately there's really no avoiding that feeling. Even the most remote cavedwelling families make fun of eachother. And I'm sure the emotions are all the same -- angry, yet hilarious.

While I can't stop every person from throwing electronic darts at my electronic persona, my only real line of defense is to have a sense of humor about these things. Surely there are things that can ultimately hurt my feelings or "cross the line" (and yes, I've been on the other side) but when it comes to face to face interactions and being around loved ones, none of that internet rubbish matters. Enjoy who you are outside the internet because you're volumes more dynamic and interesting. Plus, it's harder to insult you to your face!

So amidst the other potential jurors, I will most likely be admiring and laughing at "so and so" who just checked-in at "some place funny" before noon ... in order combat my true foe, internet or internot, BOREDOM.

An Update and Sorry, Hipster, you've been Pinkberried.

Ah yes. I'm back to my old typey ways.

There have been a few developments over the last 30 days: A couple weeks ago, I had a bicycle crash going down Topanga Canyon in Malibu. Wind blew me over a guardrail sending me into a pile of boulders where I had most certainly hit my head and broke my helmet. No broken bones luckily enough! I watched Precious while I recovered. And New Moon to recover from Precious.

A week ago, Mike had given me a new fancy helmet for my birthday. And yes, I'm wearing it right now. (He has had a couple things to brag about as well. WHILE I was in the emergency room, he had just won podium at the San Dimas Stage race. He is now #2 in the state! What a bike stud!) So thanks to my new thinking helmet, I am now unleashing all of my post-concussed thoughts  upon you. Let me put a picture up so I don't lose you with all the text.

First...the weather and what I would call "earthquake weather". Yup plenty of cold then lots of sunshine. Then rain. Then sunshine. Here in Venice, we seem to have been getting a lot of this, so I predicted the earthquake that happened over Easter. Good thing I had my helmet on! But speaking of appropriate attire, I've been noticing that it's officially short shorts and tank top weather. I believe that every year there is a designated time when girls collectively decide to just wear shorts and tank tops despite the frozen tundra of 50 degree weather outside. It's just time. This is what I would classify as seasonal as opposed to trendy. It manages to puzzle me year after year. In 60 degree weather, I prefer to find any excuse to wear my cashmere, boots (not Uggs) and black clothing so that I resemble a Japanese pirate.

Anyway, I anxiously await the horned hats to come into trend. I like to think of myself as trendy and/or hip, but I end up mostly awkward fashion-wise. A harsh reality, but something I embrace nonetheless. But these terms HIP and TRENDY have disturbed me recently because they are associated with the following specimen:

Photo from Look at this Fucking Hipster

And thanks to the mass appeal of leggings, neon, cheap vintage finds and "being different", young people dress like this everywhere. This is what I consider the Pinkberrying of Hipness- the over-repetition of something good so that we all grow tired of it. Like Pinkberry's owners who decided to open Pinkberry shops on every shop corner of Los Angeles because one PB shop had a long line a long time ago. It was a good thing until it became  synonymous with neon nausea. It's rather sad. Like Starbucks. Like my friend's overused "That's what she said" jokes. Sorry, hipsters.

 I now find myself in a hipster paradox in that it's probably "hip" to bash "hipsters" thus making myself one. Oh dear. But in order to breakaway from this kind of negative cyclone of hate, I will provide hope for the impressionable- It'll be OK. 

One day, neon tight pants, feminine canvas shoes, and asymmetrical haircuts won't be so trendy. And if you stick to your guns, dear hipster, and you keep wearing that stuff, it becomes "your thing" or "the thing you truly love" and you're no longer a hipster, but a "boho hippie hip hop something something" instead of those other impressionable hipsters who went into a space tranny disco phase (another prediction) and became space tranny disco hipsters. Then in a decade, neon tights may just come back into trend and look at you, trendsetter. You're back in mode and you'll go "gosh I was so into this years ago" and you inherit an ounce of certified fashion contempt. You're welcome. 

Happy Birthday to Me!

Picture via Pretty Pictures

Perhaps today will be a great day for a car wash, a haircut, or to walk my cat. 

I don't have a cat anymore. Ming Ming's in kitty heaven, but she looked a LOT like that like that evil fluff ball in the front. 

Ps. cool sunglasses on that lady

Some days don't go like this

Wake up while it's dark to ride my bike for about 30 miles. Chatty and slower, but fast enough to keep my pride intact.

Eat breakfast: Cheerio. Cheerio. Canolli? Egg. Egg. Where are the rest of the eggs?

Drive to work. Slow down just enough so that the Quantas plane is directly overhead upon its descent into LAX. Shucks, too fast.

Set up computer. First order of business: Check Lostpedia for any things I might've missed on last night's Lost. Then email. Then look for coffee and snacks.

Overhear conference calls. Sit it on meetings. Write write ... BIG WRITE BIG WRITE ... little write little write. Doodle.

Lunch? Brownies? Don't mind if I do.

Hmm play with Excel. Oooh didn't know you could do that! Very fast so I can do a ... what? so and so did what? ...must find out on Facebook to verify.

Oh, nice to meet you, Dr. Importante. Nice shoes! Is that cologne you're wearing?

Last meetings. Try to think of something to say! Bingo! Got it.

Drive home. Switch music to something you can sing along to. No luck. Probably for the better.

Park in front of house, but not next to questionable shady man, but across from him.

Eat. Couch? Sleep.

A few of pictures I found that I really liked.

Akeelah and the Bee

Thanks to this heartwarming, poor kids can be smart kids, movie, I not only know how to spell "xanthosis" but also "Akeelah".

when asked about my personal style

I like to tell people that it's Audrey Hepburn meets a homeless hippy hobo named Fred, who I met on the Metro. Fred was pretty cool.

Your Poisonous Life: My Thoughts on Jersey Shore and Cannibalism

My funemployment has given me the opportunity to become more pop culture relevant. In other words, I have been watching tv. And I couldn't resist checking out the show that everyone's been talking about: Jersey Shore. After watching a few minutes of it, I couldn't help but feel instantly disgusted by not only their poorly chosen wardrobe and hairstyles, but also their unbelievably useless bravado. All so grossly force fed by MTV along with bad music and a neon color palette: this generation's pollution. Plain and simple, this show is terrible, yet everyone is talking about it.

So cannibalism...

Cannibalism, for the sake of this entry, will be defined as a species eating their own species. Gross, right? Well in a sense I'm beginning to feel that with the media. We corn feed and raise the images of people just to shoot them down and eat them alive, because it feels good.

My good Vegan buddy, Meghan, had a brilliant revelation one day. She explains that just as we are particular about what kind of meat and vegetables we eat (i.e. pesticides, hormones, etc), that Cannibals should have healthy options available. She would like to be as organic a human as possible, hence her healthy chemical free diet choices. She will be a healthy snack for the cannibals she might happen to meet later on in life.

Food for Thought

Thoughts, too, can be considered food. After all, this is the fuel we use to motivate and evolve and mature. With this is mind, I would like to offer a feast of organic brilliant ideas for all the thought eaters out there. Not so much a hydrogenated mush of tabloids and reality and marketing ploys and other things qualified to be God's debris.

Our brains (like Krang, the brain-man from Ninja Turtle cartoons) cannot possibly become healthier feeding on the spray tanned vulgarity or those ass-tastic lyrics we find in most pop music or those images of unrealistic body imagery or anything that makes us need unecessarily that we see splattered across our giant flat paneled televisions and laptops and phones.

A Balanced Diet?

As a human participating in the human race, I'd like to suggest that we just expose ourselves to more quality, less quantity. It's just too easy to feed on media garbage. Brain eats healthy then, the rest of idea consumers/thought cannibals in all of us may just flourish.

Although I can't possibly be human without wanting some sugary junk food, however, I promise to only have a little of it. Feed me knowledge. Eat my brain.

If I had an iron fist

I would probably have a hard time clapping hands for Christmas lights next year, but I would surely enjoy using it as a gavel or a meat tenderizer.

A thought on apathy

don't care

Happy 2010!

For the holidays, I decided I wanted to take a break from everything: work, chores, diet, cycling, and any sense of responsibility. Complete nothingness. And when I set my brain on determination, I get results: a body that's shaped more like a burrito and a goal to looks less like a burrito for the new year.

My holiday with the family was nice as always. Lots of musicless dancing and loud laughter. We ate plenty of good food and made jokes that only we would understand.

For NYE, my friends and I met in Santa Barbara where we stayed a huge house in the Santa Barbara mountains. We had our very own living room American Idol, games, and plenty of pajama time.

New Years Day, we all took a jaunt to Solvang to enjoy wine tasting and sweets and clogs. The day after, Mike and I went with bike pals, Dedrick and Jocelyn, on a lycra-clad ride through Santa Ynez passed cows and mini horses. Satisfied, we ate at the Los Olivos Cafe (a new favorite!) and then just chatted over coffee at the Corner House coffeeshop.

And now, here I am in my living room, basking in the memory of my uselessness as I keep up with emails and attempt to have brilliant ideas. I'm looking forward to the new year not really to bring something spectacular in my life (like say a flying car! i'm dealing with this disappointment currently), but to really let me align all the unaccomplished goals (like drinking more water!) from last year into a more linear pattern and eat them like i would a burrito.