Race Report: LA Marathon March 20, 2011

"That was so stupid!" - me, my first words after finishing my first marathon on a windy stormy Santa Monica Sunday.

The beginning of my misery was waking up at 3:30am to prepare for the race. I had stuffed every pocket of my ultra-techy running gear with Gu's. (my squirtable food to help me run faster). Then covered all of that with my gigantic and hideous thrift store sweats and a garbage bag in hopes of staying warm and dry. (This later becomes a crock)

Mere and I catch a 4:30am shuttle to Dodger Stadium. This bus is full of equally sleepy racers, but just enough cocky loudmouths to drive me insane. These jerks found this to be the best time to brag about their past achievements.

4:50am - 7:15am We sit in Dodger Stadium in the cold and bored. At least it's dry.

OK so the race finally begins ... I shed my thrift store exterior and take off. Just in time for the storm to begin. Each mile was growing more and more uncomfortable in terms of weather. By mile 10, I was drenched and lost all feeling and function of my hands. At least, I learned how to use my mouth a lot more to tear open Gu packages and what have you. And what's that sound? Oh it's my squishy shoes because I had just run through 1/2 a mile of ankle deep water! Miles and miles of complete sogginess and wind chill. Everyone talks about mile 20 being the scorcher. No -- it's mile 26. As you turn onto what is called the home stretch, you get struck by a huge gust of wind coming from the ocean. Thanks, God, you got me there!

Finish time: 4 hours and 42 minutes. 12 minutes passed my time goal. Oh well. I was more concerned about pooping my shorts, which did not happen.

So as a completely depleted runner, you're happy you cross the finish line. But wait, you have to walk almost 2 huge blocks through picture taking and medal distribution and swag. This is useless to me because I still can't use my hands. Thank god they gave me this strange paper blanket to keep me "warm".

Overall, I'm in disbelief that I paid $150 to put myself through almost 5 hours of torture. Mentally and physically. Physically was the pain in my legs. The feeling that my legs weight 500 tons and my joints are aching. In terms of cardio, I was fine. Just leg pain. Plenty of "Shut up, Legs" leg pain! Mental torture-  I honestly knew that I would not be happy with myself if I walked at all. But when you're cold and tired and wet and in pain, it seems so easy to do. So I had to fight that urge.

 I was hoping for that end feeling of accomplishment, but when that blind guy and 470 others passed me in the last 4.5 miles, that went down the toilet, and thankfully not down my shorts (RIMSHOT!)

To summarize:

So, what was my favorite mile? 26th

Least favorite? 26th

Overall thoughts - Horrible. Thank god I didn't poop my shorts.

Favorite running gear - Lululemon all the way!

Do I recommend this to others? Yes. It's a great way to test what your limits are.

Will I do it again? Maybe. Probably not.

Currently: Cannot walk. Can hobble.

PS.

My marathon playlist was crucial through all of this. I highly recommend putting all of those songs that instantly make you want to hit something.

Here's an part of my playlist (as it's difficult to find suggested marathon music sometimes)

The Time - Jungle Love
Rolling Stones - Start Me Up
Supergrass - Moving
.38 Special - Caught Up In You
TV On The Radio - Wolf Like Me
LL Cool J - Mama Said Knock You Out
Cee Lo - F*ck You
Amy Winehouse/Mark Ronson - Valerie
Eurythmics - Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves
Peter Gabriel - Sledgehammer
MoneyGrabber - Fitz and the Tantrums
Motownphilly - Boyz II Men
Move On Up - Curtis Mayfield
Heartbeats - The Knife
California Gurls - Katy Perry
Justin Timberlake - Damn Girl
NERD - She wants to Move
Power Station - Some Like It Hot (still worked)
Miss You Much - Janet Jackson
Hip to Be Square - Huey Lewis and the News
The Negatives - Hood
Empire State of Mind - Jay Z
The Humpty Dance - Digital Underground
One More Time - Daft Punk
9 to 5 - Dolly Parton
Single Ladies - Beyonce

etc...

It's easy. Accessible. Mind numbing and perfect for HORRIFIC situations.

Coachella and my constant denial of hipsterdom. Real talk.

Coachella, Southern California's most crowded desert music festival, has just announced their 2011 line-up.  My reaction- I know where I will not be in April.

I love music. I listen to everything. I play instruments and have friends that play instruments. But why not Coachella? I appreciate that Coachella shares the work of hard working musicians to people who haven't heard their music. I appreciate this inspired outfits on the sexy music lovers. I applaud the kids who camp out or have all night parties at fabulous desert vacation homes. But I just don't feel comfortable there anymore. 

Beyond the fact that I can probably only recognize a handful of bands and this reminds me how out of touch I am with new music and thus igniting flashbacks of high school ignorance of then cool bands. A feeling I hope no one else feels. In addition to the 100 degree heat,  100 yard long portopotty lines in that heat, $5 waters, crowds and  I dread the fact that going to Coachella may just stir up my inner-ugly-superficial-LA-wannabe-model that wants to blend in with the other desert minxes who had just ransacked Urban Outfitters and Opening Ceremony. I just can't bear the shame, but that's not it.

I think I've  lost that romance for the music festival. That feeling of inadvertent coolness that comes when you see a band that you have respect for, that thought "o man I look like hot shit in these jeans/sunglasses right now", having respect for people who also like the band you have respect for, the whole excitement of how your pictures will look on Facebook when you get home, or hell the idea that you could be there and someone else couldn't (despite the thousands of people that can go). I lost it. Or maybe I just realized it's bullshit.

I'm older, an asshole and my sense of adventure is not picture worthy enough for a hipster.

But these are my well wishes: that people go to Coachella for the love of music and befriend people on a less superficial level. That those music geeks who are truly passionate about music become king and that they get to make out with models, or at least, wannabe models.

My Super Bowl Party for the Non-football fans

I've come to realize that I truly enjoy hosting parties especially now that I have a little house to live in. Mike and I like to find any sort of event or excuse to throw one for our friends. Some people asked how it went and here's was the timeline.

So the Super Bowl...

2 weeks beforehand
Mike and I decide to have a small party for those people who don't have plans. (ha)

These were my challenges:
• How do I make football fun for my artsier, less footbally friends?
• On top of that, I'm having a majority of vegan and/or health conscious cyclists that would prefer "healthier" snacks
• Prepare for 15 by myself while Mike is bike racing in San Diego
• Honestly, don't care to spend too much

A week beforehand
Mike and I work on a menu. We decide on a healthier turkey chili. He chose a recipe from Rachel Ray. We agree on cornbread, vegetables, and something with guacamole. Head to Costco and Whole Foods for all the ingredients. We expect to make food for 20 and figure if we don't have enough guests, we'll have some leftovers.

I began to start to ask people what they were up to for Superbowl Sunday and let them know I'm going to throw a party unofficially. A reality of this is that most people our age forget about parties and so I will most likely text message or email a few days beforehand.

3 days beforehand

Mike packs up and heads to San Diego for the Boulevard Road Race with his teammate, Dedrick. They are sent on a mission to get beer from Stone Brewery in San Diego, since it's responsible for most of our favorite beers. They'll be back on Sunday just in time for the kick-off.

Sent out a reminder text message for rsvps. Everyone responds! 15 people it is! Suggest that vegan buddies may want to bring something to eat.

I begin to clean up the house and defrosting meat. Pulling out our partyware. I chose nothing remotely football themed. It was just our minimalistic square black and white trays and bowls with plastic flatware. Lots of snazzy napkins from Ikea. Easy to clean, my least favorite part of parties.

Day of the Party

Send out a morning text to let everyone know that if they want to come early, they can watch Babe the Gallant Pig with me. (It's a great movie!) Also decide on what I will wear. Something casual but still accesorized, of course! (As was necessary, because my friends are always adorable 24/7.)

I also put together a playlist of some mellow and fun oldies music (Beach Boys, Jay Z, Lady Gaga) to lighten the mood for when guests get here. Also, I decided to play Babe silently just because. And remember, my guests aren't the biggest on sports commentary.

Baking and cooking commences. (I purposely chose recipes I could do quickly since I tend to be such a scattered chatterbox when guests start to arrive) Guests start to trickle in with even more snacks! A pleasant surprise. Meghan and Gary brought a great walnut salad and a date and banana pie (entirely vegan and raw).

The Game
Mike and Dedrick arrive with their cases from Stone. Excitement everywhere! The chili and cornbread worked well with the Arrogant Bastard and or the Pale Ale. Mixed reviews.

We started watching by first choosing sides. (So what if I chose according to the colors of the uniform.) Who we were rooting for added a lot of drama and excitement as we watched. Most importantly we viewed the commercials searching for our favorites. Since majority of this crowd worked in the commercial industry, there was plenty of funny, yet harsh, criticism. After all, commercials are the best part.

By the time The Who (halftime show/sing-a-long) began, we were all ready for Jocelyn's caramel brownies and the Stone Porter made for a perfect pairing.

All in all it was a great game, great party and we all had a good time. Mike finished off the chili by eating near 6 servings.  So no leftovers there, but we did have tons of Stone Beer. Good lord. We'll have to see what happens on the next one.

Finally - a post about Mikey's Surprise Race Finish (photos by Lorenzo De Guia)

For Mikey's 30th birthday, I decided I wanted to make it special. But how? With a few co-conspirators, I was able to surprise him with a grand bicycle tour finish on one of his routine training rides. Here is a rough timeline and pictorial in order to prove to you that I pulled this off.

It all began with some vegans...

After a bicycle ride to PV, my bike buddies, Meghan, Gary and Roxy were all at Real Food Daily talking about this great prank we saw online. The one with the fake Tour de France finish. Then Roxy had a brilliant revelation... Mikey's birthday was coming up.
So the weeks passed. I emailed all of Mike's closest friends scheming. With the support of my good buddies, professional fun makers of Group STD, we were able to fine tune details such as a banner and props. With the help of Mikey's teammate, Spase (who was more than eager to be the token naked guy), I was able to coordinate a ride to "lure" Mikey into the finish, complete with video footage.

The night before, Spase made me a map:

Podium girls?

The Prize

Here are the Group STD boys windproofing the banner...

Yes, there is a Kalamazoo! (Mike's hometown) and here is our dapper photographer, Lorenzo.

Gumby made an appearance! (secret: it's Jason). We had some downtime before Mikey showed up. (Aram was text messaging me along the ride to let me know how far they were... 20 mins away...) So Gumby provided us (and others passing by) with some entertainment!

Do some cartwheels!

Climb the tree!

For added entertainment, take the bullhorn!

Text message from Aram: 2 minutes away!

Get into position!

Waiting patiently. Why are you guys holding hands?

He's coming! Naked Spase (with an appropriate 30 written on his butt) alerts the support truck and then us and Gumby!

The post race interview

The obligatory champagne & silly string celebration

Mikey admitted to not know a thing. Despite the fact that EVERYONE knew. Success.

CREDITS: Thanks to Group STD (Rudy, Bongo, Marcus, Dario, Elaine, Melly), The Cyclists (Aram, Joe, Dedrick, Skylar), The Naked Guy (Spase), The guy who had to write "30" on Naked Guy's Butt (Daniel), Gumby (Jason), Action Face Poster (Meespace), Pikachu (Nathan), Podium girls (Cher & Lauren), Banner Boys (Pat & Brian), Eastsiders who woke up early to drive (Alxis & Newton, Jodi), Amazing photography (Lorenzo), the residents of Ocean Ave & San Vicente in Santa Monica, and Mikey for being such a sucker.

Halloween In Hollyweird

We actually got into the Halloween spirit this year. We kicked off the weekend with a pumpkin party. Pumpkin carving, pumpkn beer, and pumpkin pie.

Note: Our friend from Macedonia, was new to Halloween. He didn't know where to get a pumpkin, so he brought a watermelon to carve. The melon was then coined the "Macedonian Pumpkin". It's 3rd from the right.


Here are Mike and I getting ready for the 6th Annual Demonic Duplex Affair. He is a zombie and I am a creepy ghost girl. You know like the ones in all those horror movies.


Here I am with maximum creepiness.


I've included Lorenzo's Joaquin Phoenix costume because it was just that cool.

With Lorenzo, his costumes are only part of a performance. Here he is in the height of his method performance as Phoenix at the DDA party. Passed out. Stanislavsky would have been proud. Other partygoers took photos with his unconscious, but well dressed, self.

Here are our gracious DDA hosts. This year's theme was Street Fighter. The entire duplex was turned into the video game.

Skydiving, a trip for those of us who need to be reminded that we're alive

Within the tiny plane...

Tempting fate

Paris je t'aime

In no particular order












Photos by Lorenzo DeGuia and Allen Skyy Enriquez