Take that, witch! Your curse didn't work cuz I'm gettin' married!

Looking forward to best production of my life to date- my wedding!

Vince Gilligan on Conan

I absolutely love the show Breaking Bad. Here is an interview with its creator/showrunner, Vince Gilligan.

It's nice to know that some of the greatest ideas can come from a joke about misery among friends. And that he faints a lot just like me!

Fatty Catty the Artist

"R U Gunna Eat That?" by Fatty Catty 72 x 48 acrylic on canvas

Theme Parks at 30

The Lego store @ Legoland. 41 different colors. Many different shapes.

 

 Mike's daughter has a list of "Things to Do" for this summer. One of those things was to "Go to Legoland." We knew that we had to do it. She's been good and has tolerated enough 30something conversations about designer furniture and craft beer, that we only felt that it was fair to do actual "kid stuff."

I was excited. I enjoy rollercoasters and have many many fond memories playing with Legos. Mike and I had never been and we were more than happy to get the 12 year old clapping and jumping with excitement.

  Legoland Admission Fees

Now that I'm the one taking the 12 year old instead of vice versa, there are a few things that I don't find as amusing. First one being- holy shit, I have to pay and it's NOT cheap.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a MORAY (eel)

 We first stop at the SeaLife aquarium to see some amazing creatures. And watch babies abuse starfish with their little sausage hands. This was promising and I was looking forward to the park now.

So we finally get in and it's all very familiar. Lockers. People taking souvenir pictures. Gift shops. Snack stands. Baby vomit. Crying. Gigantic bathrooms with adequate stroller rooms. Granted instead of a larger than life mouse, we are here to see blocks. But you know what? I'm here for fun and I'm going to try to enjoy is as I did when I was a kid! I'm going to party in this block land like there's no tomorrow! I'm going to show Legoland who's boss!

The first thing we do is ride a rollercoaster that was probably designed for toddlers. While the line was about 45-60 mins, the ride was no longer than 90 seconds. AND it didn't even go upside down! I think my back hurts! Maybe the next one will ... not?

Eat it quick before it turns into NORMAL ice cream!

So I continue on my search for childhood mirth and find Dippin Dots! I loved Dippin Dots as a kid and found that I still do! Except now I realize that it's just normal ice cream that I just paid for and am forced to consume it as fast as possible before it melts into the ordinary. The brain freeze was worth it, but the churning in my stomach from the sugarshock most certainly was not. Onward to fun!

Mike with a buffalo butt made out of Legos

The kid begs us to go on the Pirate ride which pretty much promises to get us soaked. Granted that even though I'm wearing my favorite jeans (fr Current Elliott- wooo!) I decide to sacrifice them for the sake of "fun." I decide to pass on the $10 plastic bag/poncho. It won't be needed because when it's hot, it's "fun" to get soaked and wear wet jeans! It's fun to have your clothing cling to you like a cold leech. So we finally get on board the large raft that is going to bring an end to dryness for the next few hours. As the raft takes its speedy decent into the water and a giant wave falls on top of me, it happens- a tsunami of expletives and malediction just come out of my mouth. As if I had just stepped in a wasp nest and all the angry wasps were cursing too! It was uncontrollable and the parents and children nearby pretend not to hear it. I walk out as fast as I can even though I am now 5 lbs heavier due to the water my clothing has now absorbed.

Lego replica of Lego factory

We continue walking to finally find things I truly enjoyed: Miniland USA and the Star Wars exhibit which were miniature models made entirely out of Legos.

 

Lego San Francisco

 Lego Star Wars Cantina

Lego MGM Grand, Las Vegas? Because that's what kids like to see.

I'm pretty sure I had taken photos of each structure and they were all very impressive. No details missed from tourists, prostitutes (oh, I'm sure they're in there) to aligator hunters in the pond.

The park closes at 8p, but the "BIG" gift shop conveniently stays open til 10p

We ride a few more rollercoasters that were lukewarm at best. I made Mike and the kid run across the park to make sure we got on as many rides as possible. It was a painful revelation that I had spent at least 6 hours of my day in a queue to ride these bunny hill rides not being amused, but I remembered that this wasn't about 30 year old me anymore- it was for the kids. The kids who are still scared of big rides and still want to buy everything in the gift shop, and for those of us to pay for it.

Not Without My Cellphone!

Happy Birthday, Cher, from me and the LAPD

One of my best good buddies, Cher, just recently partied pretty hard and had a run-in with the police. In all good fun, Cher came out unscathed and more importantly, with her phone intact.

Cellphones are somewhat crucial to my life. It's the best way to reach me. I get email on it. I can check my oodles of social media on it. Plus, I'm a producer, so I'm effing permanently connected to the cancer box siamese-twin-freak-of-nature style. (oops, I mean conjoined)

But alas, when things get hectic in my life, I get a little scatterbrained. And one day, I did the unthinkable and lost my phone. 

Thanks to Apple's  Find My Friends app, it was only a matter of a couple iPad taps to see that my phone had gotten locked up in my office. My office that had just been fumigated for unusually large cockroaches and other insect menace. I considered borrowing a gas mask, but figured I'll just wait the weekend to get my phone back. Brave the world of the phoneless.

After emailing the people who are trying so urgently to reach me to let them know I lost my phone, I took a breathe and dove into phone freedom. After overcoming some work-related anxieties, it was nice. I wasn't constantly tied to my social media in public, relied on my memory to get around town without GPS, I wasn't worried a work call could come in, and most importantly I was able to just enjoy the company of those around me. Granted, I did really miss my camera phone when I spotted two skunks fighting in the street, but seeing will not be believing in this instance. All in all, it was the most relaxed I had been since I started working.

And then finally come Monday, I expect to see a tsunami of missed calls and a text messages. Perhaps a few Instagram alerts, but no- I missed 1 call from my mom, no voicemail and my wakey wakey alarm went off. Son of a bitch.

Cellphones are so empowering by giving us mobility, but I've learned that every now and then it's nice to turn off the phone to focus on the world that you can touch, feel and smell.

Ooh we fancy now! We have astro turf! - A warm invitation

 Hacky sack Sunday

Hello Family,

After a year and a half of deliberating what type of wood, what color paint, what lighting and what furniture to place in our home, it is finally ready for your approval.

Mike and I have worked not only on our theme of blending the indoors and outdoors, but balancing his style (sterile) and my style (fun, duh!). Yes, that's a chair, Grandma, you can sit in it. Even if it resembles a 3-legged alien, I assure you it's a stool designed with your bum in mind. And that rock? Well that's a rock and that's our coffee table. Both look like meteorites, so an easy mistake. You can sit on all of them! That's the fun part.

We've made sure that every detail in the house was carefully selected from the finest of affordable hardware stores to make sure that this home was indeed ours, and now yours as well. We scrutinized 3 different types of astroturf to assure you that your tootsies would have every comfort of actual grass. As I curate the home with only the most personal of art - my chrome painted garden gnome aka Chrome Gnome, to the gassy penguins and Mike's father's drawing of Mike getting hit in the groin by a pogo stick, we clearly have quite a budding collection of tasteful ambiguity.

Our tiny home is tucked behind much larger homes that belong to people who are far far too busy to mind us peering into their homes with binoculars or playing our favorite game "What animal am I?" or general pajama wearing outside (Remember: indoor outdoor theme)

All in all, we welcome you to our home. We will always have beer, egg whites, and peanut butter readily available for you.

Love,
Me

Bummer - I got a job.

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths

30

My bestfriend, Grace, on her wedding day in San Francisco. 

So from the looks of the last post, it's been a 5 month break. I could say that whole "oh my gosh, I was sooo busy doing things" but it would be untrue-- I've had 5 months of writers block. While staring at a blinking cursor I managed to also find every engineering flaw in my coffee machine, took up making friendship bracelets, and taken handfuls of photos on Instagram, because it's not only what's relevant among my fellow Generation Y's, but also just a few button-clicks (oh wait, not button, my phone doesn't have buttons-- who am I some teen star from a 90's primetime series?) you too can feel like an artist. See- I'm still "creative".

So let's catch up, compadre!

In the last 5 months, I've turned 30. It's felt way better than 21 and definitely way better than 25, but closer to turning 27. I've implemented a handful of rules to help me feel more like a 30 year old adult like set up a good long term financial plan and not to purchase underwear from any stores that carry the size 00.  Ultimately, turning 30 has really made me think about the future.

So my god, how do we deal with all these responsibilities. After all, by this time any time I mess up, it's MY responsibility. I accept that. And it sucks. I've liked to think I can relieve my writers block and responsibility with some unfiltered irresponsibility. I went ahead and bought shoes- a bunch of them. All of which I returned because they were repulsive (yeah you, marc jacob sneaker heels, but not you Jenni Kayne d'orsays, not you)

Ooh and my best friend got married! While she initially dreamed of going to a courthouse and eating at iHop afterwards, she made for a beautiful bride... who chained smoked and wore a hoodie over her gown.   We ate great food, truffles my cousin finely crafted, drank Korean style (which is pretty much equates to excessive for me) and a hangover dim sum breakfast. Thank god that's over with. My acid reflux really took a number when not only she showed me her engagement ring, but also my 2 other friends who got engaged a week later. For the record, it wasn't my own thoughts on marriage, but all the things that would have to be done as well as the fact that I'm just getting older. Sorry, Bloomingdales, for puking on your floor but I was only reacting to those rocks on my iPhone. Better yet, why not write a complaint to the people who created picture sharing on my phone. Oh 30.

All in all, the best part of being 30 is that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. I can like Cabin in the Woods, don't have to have ombré hair, eat really great food or really great fatty foods. But I do feel guilt when it comes to spending-- I gotta spend on causes I believe in and my loves ones and nothing on impulse. Being part of something bigger than my closet Because that's what adults do.

Cuizon Christmas in Photos

Fatty Catty got a mountain of cookies baked by Uncle Phil and Uncle Ed

Suburbs 

My youngest cousin, BatKristen 

 An expired Christmas

Uncle Monch's trees. There is never just one.

This is Uncle Monch's dog, Stretch. He is narcoleptic. 

My cousin, Marisa's homemade mint chocolate "Oreos". Kristen is the sous chef. 

We play mahjong. Think gin rummy but louder and cube shaped.

No one celebrates Christmas in Los Angeles

Fatty Catty flying home for the holidays

What better day to write about Christmas in Los Angeles than the first day of Hannukah?

It's 57 degrees out, Christmas lights have been strung around the palm trees on Santa Monica blvd, and the shopping malls are a mess. However, the reason I feel like it's Christmas is because traffic has died down and all of my friends are catching flights to go elsewhere. 

This is because no one considers Los Angeles home. Everyone who transplanted here to work in the entertainment industry, like myself, always take the last couple weeks of the year to return to our actual "home," This happens regardless of the holiday you celebrate. People just leave. We go home, also known as the place where we grew up and/or where our families live now. This is the place where Angelenos go to demonstrate how much LA has changed them for the better or worse, consciously or subconsciously. I'm sure New Yorkers feel the same way.

We go home and enjoy the contrast but then come to the lucent realization of how exhaustingly gregarious  Los Angeles is as a city. We won't worry about running into our boss somewhere. We won't worry about people judging our dirty cars at the valet stand. We won't worry about traffic. In other words, our lives become what our genetic predisposition tells us we need- normalcy and nothingness, if you're lucky. Maybe. But regardless of the our hectic lives and strange families, we still feel that warm fuzzy lovey feeling (and I could be referring to your grandpa's toupee). And eat a lot of goddamn cookies, so enjoy it while it lasts!

Wishing everyone safe travels to their families and loved ones for the holidays! 

Creature of Habit

My co-worker argued that I do the same thing in her editing bay every evening. I didn't believe her so she took pictures to prove it.

Monday 5:30pm PST

Tuesday 5:30pm PST

Wednesday 5:30pm PST

Thursday 5:30pm PST

Friday 5:30pm PST

Our visit to Case Study 22

Paying tribute to Julius Shulman

For Mikey's birthday, our friend, Miss Tran, arranged for a home tour of one of our favorite midcentury modern homes, the Stahl House, also know as Case Study 22.

It was an amazing home with a view of all of Los Angeles. The Stahl family still currently owns the house but we were happy to learn that a normal American family lived in this house, not a fancy well to do hairstylist (Vidal Sassoon) or a world renowned designers (Charles and Ray Eames).

The Stahl's were only allowed to decorate the bathroom. Everything else was off limits.

They Stahl's were forced to put a pool in by the bank who were preparing for their foreclosure well before Pierre Koenig had taken the project's helm and making it a Case Study home. In order to prevent their 2 young children from drowning in the pool, the couple had made the children wear life vests. However, in later years, the family enjoyed summers by jumping off the roof and into the pool.

Our cat, Fatty Catty, by the pool

A Week Later ... My Family's Thanksgiving

Fatty Catty after eating his Thanksgiving turkey

It's a week after Thanksgiving and I miss my wacky family, so here you go...

My Uncle Phil and Uncle Ed, fun-loving uncles with an eye for antiquities, opened up their amazing home to nearly 30 of our family members last Thursday. Uncle Phil had been cooking for a week straight. As well as my family's contributions. I feel like Mike and myself are still recovering. While activities were still quite traditional (eating and watching the 49ers lose) the menu was unique due to its size and how it incorporated some Filipino flavors.

Appetizers
• Fig and cherry canopes with pears and romano cheese
• Stuffed dates with mascarpone and gorgonzola
• Charcuterie platter
• Stuffed mushrooms with italian sausage and onions

Salad
• Cranberry and walnut salad

Entree
• 2 Turkeys (brined by my uncle! and for fun, we said that one was Asian and one was White)
• Beef Lengua stew - This was also added to pasta to make an alternative to
• Lumpiang Hubad ("naked" lumpia- pork and vegetables)
• Potatoes 2 Ways: Mashed Potatoes in Baked Red Potato
• Cranberry, Cherry, Raspberry Sauce
• Pork adobo and macaroni
• Beef Lengua Stroganoff
• Butter Rolls
• Sweet Potatoes with marshmallows
• Beef steak

Dessert
• Tiramisu (My Uncle Monch makes the best tiramisu, ever)
• Pumpkin Squash cupcakes with Brown Butter Buttercream and Pumpkin Seeds (my cousin Marisa is a pastry chef. This is almost unfair)
• Pumpkin Pie
• Spanish Pumpkin Pie (with almonds and no pie crust)
• Hopia (bean cake)
• Cuchinta (a sticky sweet rice pastry that you can eat with coconut, or not)
• Egg Tarts
• Baklava

New Blog Address

Hi everyone, the blog's URL has changed to:

my-pet-lemon.blogspot.com

Just in case you were wondering

Garbage and Creation

I've been absent from blogging. It's been a personal challenge for me to re-organize and focus what I would like to express here in this place for you. Initially, my goal with this blog was to keep my mother informed of my life here in LA while she resides in San Francisco. But thanks to Facetime (Thanks again, Steve J!) I can communicate with her on a different level. My hopes are to create a place that allows readers into a space that is comforting, yet inspiring. Here goes nothing ... 

Frankly, there's a lot of junk disguised as creativity these days. Towers and towers of garbage inventions and perverted artwork that have been mutated into something terrible that eats other works of "recycled"creations (much like pollution) that have be created by talented people in order to make money. You know these. They're the contributions to our world that are made to make a select few wealthy and are not meant for the greater development of humanity- commercials, re-makes, cookie cutter homes. They miss the mark when it comes to communicating the heartwarming characteristics of humanity such as nurturing, soulful, and thoughtful.  Tell me that art is in the eye of the beholder when I give you two tickets to Bring It On the Musical for Christmas. And don't forget to say "thank you."

But there are good people (good people? checked!) who aren't trying to cultivate and protect our ideas from the putrid clouds of "what everyone else wants",  "it's ok" and "if they think this is ok, then I think it's OK". We can only do one thing and it's to put ourselves in everything we do and listening to our built-in shit detectors when our senses tells us we're in the presence of greatness. Some people are so good at this, but those of us who have an affinity for the offensive need some practice. I'd like to begin with taking time for careful observation and engaged listening with a lean towards optimism.

Great ideas are all around us. Art and creation have taken all sorts of form in new media. All it takes to see this is to acknowledge the craft and therefore the beauty in most things. I carefully assume intention. It's not quite safe to always weigh our opinions on intention because sometimes the best part of a creative idea is in the process and reception. For instance, I absolutely love pop music. (defined as accessible music) I think it's made for the masses and often is the money-making pollution I complained about earlier. However, every now and then I come across something I find truly crafted and composed that it's refreshing. But one wouldn't notice the craftsmanship without actually listening. Or hey even noticing how funny your friends are in 140 characters or less. Or even listening to your friend's retelling of his motorcycle adventures.

Hint: The best way to appreciate is to try the activity (say writing, singing, etc) to see how much hard work it takes to become 150% better than the person next to you. 

It takes very little effort to dismiss art and crafstmanship these days. After all, we are overstimulated by all of the things we can do at once thanks to technology. We're always looking to have more time, but what are we doing with all the extra time? Oh yeah, sleeping. But say we take some time from our vanity or our indulgence to appreciate something truly beautiful whether it be a plant and its organic structure to the architecture we work in. Or even a logo and design that went into the TV show you're watching. There is always something to be grateful for somewhere nearby.

So back to Bring It On, the Musical... While this IS a money-making vehicle that was made solely to pull more money out of the pockets of Bring It On fanatics (there have to be at least 15...), you might just really find the performers talented or the overall joke of it to be worth writing about. Because you never know what will make you happy until well it makes you happy.

Things of Recent Interest

1. succulents
2. 17th Century British Slang (i.e. farting-crackers or bumfodder or arsworm)
3. Valentino shoes
4. iPhone 5 rumors
5. my Filipino jewelry collection and new Pope John Paul II charm from the Vatican
6. animatronic dinosaurs for purchase and patio furniture. tie.
7. pre-fab sheds
8. the Trails cafe
9. 90's rap music because it makes me laugh
10. 1/2 marathons
11. chicken wings

A demonstration of how uncomfortable I am on camera

My friend, Jeneille, featured my "this is all I've unpacked" ensemble on her fashion blog.

Outfit breakdown/reasoning:

1. LA Eyeworks Hedgehog glasses - these glasses are prescription and transitional meaning they turn into sunglasses outside. I figured they wouldn't be so obviously transitional with larger frames.

2. Necklace - It's an ebay find and my secret to dressing up t-shirts for work because I hate feeling sweaty at my desk.

3. Joe's T - it's the softest one at the store

4. Vintage men's Lacoste cardigan - Ebay. It's cheap. And I like the bigness.

5. Vintage D&B satchel - I really wanted a Proenza PS1, so this was an alternative. It was still featured on some fashion blogs during fashion week as a top pick. Woot woot. I got it on ebay for $15.

6. Vintage Levis 501's shorts -  Who in california doesn't have these? they're slightly big for me so they're more comfortable and well to prevent denim sweating. Gross. Plus they're always a little unexpected with more conservative pieces

7. Vena Cava x Tenoversix platforms - These chunky's help me feel feminine but they're sturdy enough for me to run after folks or wear to work.

My Thoughts on Home Ownership

After months of escrow and seemingly endless negotiations, we got our house. It feels good to own our first house, but guess what, it sucks money out of me like a tampon sucks out blood.

I'm going to eat pb&j for the rest of the year because the view is worth it.

Looking forward to joining the neighborhood civic association. I'll need a jello mold and ideas for the dog parade.

New developments: learned how to change locks, repair drywall, and the greatness of Bona.

And yes, there really is a countertop material in the color of "White Zeus"

Why so sensitive?: My Thoughts on Interracial Relations

I've began to notice that white people might be more sensitive to my ethnicity.

Earlier this week, Mike and I dared to go into a topic of conversation that spanned many touchy subjects and potential offensive landmines- our friends' ethnicities and why we are friends.

I commend Mike on this because one, I always win any sort of intellectual discourse, and two, it is difficult for him to address race or ethnicity without shooting himself in the foot as he is a midwestern white boy and I am a Filipino-American girl from SF Bay Area.


He explained to me that small town white girls tend to find comfort in other small town white girls because that is what they know. To which, I did not understand, but absorbed.  I thought, "Well I don't even consider anyone's ethnicity when I talk to them. Why is it that they mind mine?" The question was left unanswered.

So I then began to consider cultural differences. Could being afraid of darker skin be part of a culture to which I should be sensitive to? And how does my cultural identity affect those with this kind of potential but inherent reaction to me? And my response to this is that I'm American. I was born in San Francisco and went to the same types of public schooling that many of these reluctant white girls had also received. I have never retreated to solely Filipino friends, nor am I friends with Filipinos exclusively. And no matter how I look and how they look, if we get arrested in North Korea we will be imprisoned Americans, not imprisoned Asian Americans and White Americans.  I can't program that into their minds.

OK, so next thing ... earlier today I commended fellow Filipino-American lady and emcee (that's a rapper, mom) Rocky Rivera's toughness on Twitter. I also made a joke alluding that Filipino women who bleach their hair blonde are whores. Well something to that effect anyway.

"I want to be tough like Rocky Rivera. Not to mention she's the only Filipino girl who pulls off blonde without the whoriness"

It was a joke and Rocky got it. Sent it to her fans.

I then received a message from a Rocky fan suggesting that I was offensive and asking me "which ethnic groups can dye their hair?". It appeared that this message came from a white man. He was obviously unaware that I too was Filipino, but in my head, I thought, "wow he cares way more than any blonde Filipinos that may or may not be whores. " Clearly, he was very politically correct in using the term ethnic group, so I granted him the respect of a politically correct reply:

"Any ethnic group can dye their hair and/or be whores with enough will and resources."

So now I once again considered this oversensitivity to ethnicity. The entire concept that I'm even ethnic in this country boggles me and I don't know how to really find a happy medium. Either people don't want to speak to me because I'm so tan or I can't make tan jokes even if I'm tan because I'm obligated to protect my fellow tanned people from otherwise. Am I American or AmeriTan?

Well I'll send this message to the reluctant: I will be nice to you and I don't care what your skintone is or how you speak English or even your IQ. I will, however, exercise shameless discrimination toward egregious odor, ill manners and asshats (translation: assholes).

Filipino Pepsi Commercial